Finding My Answer

While I was a sophomore in college, I started learning about human trafficking. I went to Thailand on a missions trip that summer. My group planned on visiting an organization called NightLight which works to help women escape the brothels and red light district. On our way, we got lost and ended up in the center of the red light district. It was daytime and people were starting to set up for the evening. It was not an easy walk down that road.

As we went, we looked around and what we saw broke our hearts. What were once windows, were now barred or blocked by bricks so that the individuals inside couldn't see out. We prayed as we walked the rest of the way. It was all we could do to keep from crying, although some of us still did.

We eventually got to NightLight, but I will never forget that walk. I have always wanted to do something... but never knew what I could do. The past few years have been hard, knowing that I wanted to help but not how. 

When Nicole approached me about working at Creative Women of the World, I knew I wanted it. I finally have an answer to all the years of wondering. And I'm looking forward to tomorrow and all the women that we get to help here at CWoW!

What is Poverty?

Even though I work with artisans in third world countries where people by most standards are defined as poor, I have seen just as much poverty in the States as I have around the world. It's because  I've learned that poverty is not defined by the amount of money in your pocket. You can be poor whether you live on a dollar a day or $100 a day or even $1000 a day.

Poverty is a mindset that can enslave you and to tell you the truth I have personally fallen into its trap. I was fortunate to learn the joy of living in abundance at an early age. In college, I was down to my last dollar and knew I needed to do laundry that in that era would cost a dollar but I wanted to give an offering in church so I gave the whole amount anyway. Miraculously, the next day an encouragement card came in the mail from an distant acquaintance and inside was a crisp one dollar bill!  I found the reality of abundance when my tangible assets were depleted but there were other times when my account was full yet I lived in poverty because I was stuck in limiting thinking.

Poverty-thinking is when I worry about not having enough. That kind of fear leads me to either vigorously hoard what I already have or to live at a hectic pace trying to accumulate more. It leads me to believe that working harder will prevent the panic of lack.

Poverty-thinking fosters jealousy. It believes that if someone appears to have more than I, that somehow my

Nicole

chances of having enough are diminished.   

Sometimes it even resents the success of another and expects a portion of their profits. Nicole, from Haiti, is an artisan I really respect. She is a real entrepreneur and has started several successful small businesses including a bread bakery using solar ovens. But as soon as she starts making money her neighbors start lining up with their hands extended demanding their share!  If she doesn't, they can make life miserable for her.

Poverty-thinking believes resources are in such limited supply that if I don't grab my fair share before someone else does, I will lose out. That mindset makes me stop seeing others as a potential friend or partner but rather as an obstacle to be stepped over.

But poverty thinking may not always be wrapped in obvious negativity. Even an altruistic point of view can succumb. There have been times when I was offered gifts that I KNEW represented a huge sacrifice on the part of the giver; like the chicken lovingly sacrificed for my lunch in Kenya by a family who had little more than a mud hut and heart full of gratitude. Or the sugary cake

Kenyan Cake

baked over a charcoal oven by artisans who pooled their pennies because they were grateful for their training. Everything in me resisted accepting their gifts because I knew they had so little and I didn't want their resources to be depleted. I believed if they gave to me, their lives would be made even more challenging, maybe even unsafe.

On my last trip to Haiti after the earthquake in 2010, I contracted Dengue Fever for a second time. It is caused by a particularly virulent mosquito whose bite causes high fevers, joint pain and potential death since there is no treatment for it. I know the day I got bit. I almost know the exact moment. It was late afternoon and it had been a long hot day. I had taken a bottle of insect repellent on the trip but ran out earlier in the week because you need to cover every part of your body night and day. I thought about asking one of the team members if I could borrow some of theirs but was afraid they might run out and then both of us would be susceptible so I opted not to. On the surface that might sound like a kind thing to do but in reality it was based on a mindset of poverty. I believed that there couldn't possibly be enough for all of us so I quietly "sacrificed". If I had asked I would have found out that there was plenty of repellent available for all of us. I just didn't know it was still packed away in their suitcases waiting for the need. Now the doctor has advised me never to go back to Haiti because contracting it a third time would likely be fatal. My belief in scarcity when there was really enough actually created  more limitations than I ever imagined.

What if we all were to give up living in poverty and stepped  into the glorious abundance of enough?  

What if we truly believed there was enough for everyone to have their needs met?  

What if we could sincerely rejoice in the successes of others and encourage them to flourish even further?  

What if we gave up the hungry grabbing for more and instead rested in knowing that today would be filled with enough?  

What if we could freely express a legitimate need and know that the satisfaction of that need would come on precisely the right day in exactly the right way so that all of could find joy?  

What if we knew that none of us needed to stay stuck in poverty  but could freely move into abundance?  

We could change the world!

Renewed hope, continued song

Booths. Booths everywhere. We're all unpacking our stuff, setting up our displays, and hoping that lots of people stop by over the course of the next few days of the Annual Conference of the Indiana United Methodist Church. This is a general assembly of all the United Methodist Churches in Indiana, and over the course of three days, there are lots of meetings, assemblies, luncheons, dinners, talks, etc. A time where leaders in the church can all come together, worship, fellowship, and be inspired to change the world. Also a place where lots of booths can set up to spread the word of what each of us has felt called to do. We all have high spirits, and we're ready for everyone that walks through those 5 sets of double doors into the Indiana Convention Center in downtown Indianapolis.

I went down to Conference last week with Creative Women of the World, and set up a booth for Kenya Simba Scholars right next to theirs... so I could tell people about all the children we're working with in Kenya, and also sell the products that were made by the Mwangatu Women all at the same time. That's what I like to call... double dipping! People would stop by the KSS booth, and then I'd get to direct them right over to CWoW to do some shopping for charity...and vice versa. And in between crowd rushes, I'd be able to sneak away to look at what other people were there for.

One thing became clear to me... we were all there for a purpose. We were all there to spread the word about something that we believe in. Several other fair trade shops had come, many other global mission groups had come, commercial businesses were there. We all had something that we were trying to do. A mission for 3 days. Attract people, tell them your story, spread the word. Nobody is better or worse than anyone else.

So for 2.5 days I got to talk to people about the children that we're sponsoring in Kenya. I got to tell their stories, and encourage others to join in the journey of the Kenya Simba Scholars. I got to talk to people about the Mwangatu Women that make the beautiful purses that caught everyone's eyes when they walked past them. I got to show people the pictures of how they're made, and explain how the purchase of that purse will help a woman with HIV not only survive, but help her family survive and put her kids through school. A few people walked by several times and ogled those purses every time. They're gorgeous, and so interesting. And they tell a story in and of themselves.

People have told me how brave I am to be doing what I'm doing, but as I look around at all the other people who have given their own lives to their own causes, I discover that I'm no more brave than any of these other folks. They have devoted themselves fully to their own causes, and I begin to realize that we are all doing what we need to do to find personal fulfillment in our lives, and to help others. From the folks who send "Loaves of Love" to military posts all over the world, to the folks who are raising money to send a school bus filled with school supplies to Africa, to the folks who are working in Bungoma, Kenya trying to make life better for the children who live there. Everyone is there for a different reason. Everyone is working for something. Everyone is excited to share their own story. It was so inspirational to see, and to be a part of.

A lot of times as a missionary I stop and wonder if my own drop in the ocean really means anything. Getting to be surrounded by multitudes of other drops in the same ocean allows me to rest in the knowledge that this work is bigger than I can ever imagine. It reignites my small mustard-seed-like faith, and encourages me to hope even more.

To top off the whole experience, I was asked to play violin with Amy Cox at the Hard Rock Cafe in Indianapolis on Friday evening on a particular song that speaks to me regularly... 10,000 Reasons, by Matt Redman:

Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes....

For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find...

Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

Those aren't all of the words, but some that I especially resonate with. Sometimes I find that my violin speaks better than I can through musical expression when it comes to how certain things make me feel, but I will say that there is so much power and hope in this song. Even more-so when you have a room full of people (at the Hard Rock Cafe nonetheless) singing along with you, reminding you of the promise of God, and how good he is. The hope I have in him keeps going... I will continue to sing even when the darkness comes. I will continue to sing because of all the awesomeness around me.